Update and Social Media/Website Hiatus

★Current Mood:👻 Vacant
★Listening to: Zeromancer - Clone your lover
★Watching: Death Becomes Her
★Reading: Fanfiction

★Playing: 7 days to die
★Eating:  Hot pot

★Drinking: Jasmine tea with honey
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Once again, long time no see.  

We gotta stop meeting like this.:/

It seems every time I want to keep this journal up to date, life just gets busy, and that's okay. So far, I haven't updated since last year, October, and that's so much for me. I have been enjoying my life a bit more to the point that I don't pay attention much to time flying past. Though I am once again going to make an effort to keep this journal up to date, even if it's small taaaaaangzzzz.

So, despite the break, I kinda don't have a ton, art-wise, to show. ehhhh I haven't really been feeling art, which sucks. I have been feeling creative buuuuuuuuut as for drawing, I just have been having a hard time with it. Not sure why, and tbh too comfortable and happy with life to care to figure it out much. 

I feel my art will come back to me when it comes back. I'm not gonna force it since I don't have to live off my art anymore, so there isn't like a force for me to draw every damn day.

Once I'm back there, I'll be flooding my website and journal here with art. I do have this creature I was working on and finished, but it's just concept sketches for rn.

I've always been a fan of the thing and decided to make a creature inspired by that movie, just a tiny bit.  Also messing with colors and trying to get my pack of art done, it has been sitting on my desk, it needs to be done with already, so I can move on to new projects. However, this is something I still have to post on my website archive to enjoy!

 

Enjoy the work here for now!


SUPER HIATUS

So for rn I'll be taking a break from my website and social medias to relearn and study art again. I also got my hubby and a new boo thang to mingle with rn, yay polyamory, and I kinda want to focus on this a lot more. As for relearning art ehhh I just feel it's hard to do when you are always posting, at least for me anywayzzzzz, so I just want a break. 

Idk how long it will be for, but I'll be taking them often to keep my skills up to date for my own eyes. What does that mean for my journal here? Nothing, I might actually be posting here much more than anywhere else rn. I did say I'm not gonna abandon my journal like before...sheeesh that was a long time. However, when it comes to art, prepare to see the good, the bad, and the ugly. I want to have a low-pressure thing with my journal so express myself, but my best work will be on my website once I'm off my Hiatus.

alright lovlies, stay tuned.

Love is in the air + Holiday cheer

★Current Mood: 💘 Longing
★Listening to: Voodoo KungFu (零壹: Ling Yi) - 此岸
★Watching: Midsommar
★Reading: Fanfiction

★Playing: Kingdom Hearts 
★Eating: Bacon & Eggs

★Drinking: Arizona iced green tea
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Long time no post, huh? I've been busy with life and stupidly happy with it. I officially retired from commissions, which, honestly, after 21 years, it's well overdue. I am so happy that I don't have to do commissions anymore, not that I didn't like them, but 21 fuckin years of working for others will work on your mental health. I do appreciate and love all who have ever commissioned me, but the time has come for me to work on my own projects and ideas in comfort.  I have felt so good all month, and now I can focus on working on teaching my free classes, too. *EXCITMENT* ^.^

So speaking on holidays, I beat the porch pirates to everything because I was eyeing their tracking bars like a hawk. I already got my Christmas gifts ready for my husband. But will be going to the stores for my husband's birthday stuff and get him a cake from my fave asian bakery. I am so excited for Halloween and Christmas. For Halloween, I am planning a date night with hubby that involves candy, silly string in a can fight, some dinner, and horror movies. But this will be the best holiday year yet! There is just so much to celebrate, and I'm just beyond happy to share it with my love.

I gave my husband an early Halloween blind box and plush gift cause he has been working so hard as of late, and he was so happy waaaaaaaaah. He deserves it 

Also, I started using Krita, and I really love it; it's possibly the only program that allows this kind of impasto texturing.

I've been exploring other software other than Photoshop. And while I will continue to use Photoshop for a lot of my needs, it doesn't hurt to try a lot of the open-source stuff too.

 

Got inspired by this song to do some vent art here

Anyhoots, I will try to keep this place active. I just have a ton of things to do, or I'm just tired, but I want to start using my personal journal again like I always used to.

 Later yalls.

Busy Month + Art Fatigue

★Current Mood: 💘 Loved
★Listening to: Northlane - Cypher
★Watching: Solo Leveling
★Reading: Fanfiction

★Playing: Date everything
★Eating: Fuego chicken sandwich & fries

★Drinking: cola
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What a month! It's been so busy that I'm just happy things are moving along smoothly as they can be. Loads of doctor appointments. I've been so tired health-wise that I haven't had much time for my friends at all, due to me just being exhausted and not being able to. Beyond my own personal life, of course, that is jammed packed. But I figure I'd update this journal since I've been neglecting it so much.

As for art, once again, it seems I cannot catch a break with having art blocks, or rather, some form of art level-up that frustrates me. I was actually thinking of taking a hiatus from social media to focus on my art again and see what I can actually come up with that's new and exciting with my work. I'm just not sure what avenue to take with my art., as much as I love drawing, monsters, furries, and creatures. I hope it's not actually artistically holding me back. I really hope that is not the case at all. I hope it's just boredom over drawing the same thing over again.

I haven't drawn something good for myself in over 2 months :/ It's starting to tick me off, actually, that even my own personal work is agitating me. Like I've doodled icons for myself here, but I wanted to do a bit more. Though I am learning a bit more on color theory but I want to learn more till it becomes second nature like breathing.

Ah well, gotta put in the work honestly and just push through with art to figure out what exactly is holding me back. I'd love to find a compromise, honestly. I just want to stop being so damn frustrated with my art. And not lose my passion for something I actually enjoy doing.

Tired Kitty is Tired

 

★Current Mood: 💫 Busy
★Listening to: Orgy -Dissention
★Watching: Mr.Queen
★Reading: Fanfiction

★Playing: R.E.P.O
★Eating:  Pizza and hot wings

★Drinking: Cola
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So, here are some updates...
I may have to leave my job due to discrimination against my disibility, but I am taking them to court if I can. I just hope I have enough proof and the fact I have a witness as well. I'm just in awe and shocked that it even came to this. I can't say too much about this cause I don't want to say the company I worked for or anything until this all gets resolved and they get into some serious trouble. However, after I asked for accommodations for my disability, they claimed I needed to get documents signed by April 25th. Well, I let them know my doctor can sign them on May 12th cause that's her earliest appointment for me. And if I can have a medical leave until then. Simple enough, right? lol welp it turned to a shit show.

They then proceeded to get me on a teams call and my trainer pulls her supervisor on call and of course its some cocky power hungry man who goes on about this job is tough its not for me, that my disibility is not that serious, and how that if they give me accommodations it wouldn't make sense since the job is basically so demanding. NTM, if I can't be signed by the 25th it will count against me. Essentially punishing me for something I can not control. They asked me to resign. So I said hmm, I'll think about it. When I didn't email my trainer back all day, she emailed me, saying to remember to send her an email about me resigning. After thinking about it and talking to friends about the situation, my witness heard the whole conversation on Teams cause I played it out loud on my work PC. We all agreed this was discrimination and coercement to get me to quit. Mainly, they didn't want to fire me because it would openly be discrimination. Instead, they wanted to make it seem like I quit on my own.

So I replied to the email stating everything that was not okay in a professional manner, along with how I didn't appreciate how I was spoken to and that it was disgusting and not okay. I said everything they said to me in email names included int he conversation. I was not playing that shit with them. While I got an apology for it, it just doesn't seem right for a big business to do that, so I contacted my state discrimination department, and I'm also trying to get an appointment for the EEOC so there can be a double investigation and eventually get this to court. Yeah like I said a total shit show but hey the company I worked for probably thought I was stupid and wouldn't report this. Fat chance...they barked up the right tree. I'm so over people using me as a punching bag. So fuck it taking this to god damn court...the audacity to be that bold too.

Other than that, my personal life is great. I have been spending more time with friends and my husband,

Which was been good for my mental health despite what my job is doing. It think life could be worse yuh know.

I've really been into playing REPO alone or with friends; it's just so much. With friends, it's hilarious af to see them go nuts with the monsters while I'm just collecting quota. But alone, I get to hog all the upgrades LMFAO. So fun times indeed!

some personal art, though I  definitely post my personal stuff here

 Something that's been on the back burner was a piece I did last year, if I'm not mistaken... It was a lot to clean up. I was working on this on and off but finally got it done. It's a pretty piece for me and my husband. I was trying some new things, and I learned a bit, but I'm happy with the results.

Some chibi hubby doodles,  nothing says lovings like this man flippin' the bird for no reason. Also a lil funny of me getting what I want AKA my husband's soda after he orders food.

 

This lil chibi and 3 icons were done in gimp, therei s something I love about how it handles colors and the brush functions, I want to experiment more with gimp. If only people gave gimp a little bit more credit fr... its a fun and FREE program. People say it's hard to use or you just can't make art with it, but it sounds like a skill issue to me. Or rather, folks just listening to elitists folks' opinions and not trying it for themselves. Anyhoots, I enjoy toying with the program from time to time, and I love what came out of it for me.

These bottom icons were done in clip paint studio, and I gotta say it was an interesting experience. I like to try software I get as gift ( I mean it was free for me, so why not). For some reason, folks really like these icons. I'm not sure why, but if you like it, I love it. I just used to pen brush, pray brush, and air brush

And lastly, I did an out-of-the-blue doodle of my son just sitting, and I really loved this cause I rarely share my full body, and I'm getting more confident with sharing them. I hope to draw some more in the future.

I have a bunch of concept art for new ocs and stuff I want to get done. Like my roblox oc that I play with my husband in games with. But I actually have to finish the sketches and render them. Among other oc concepts I wanna get done. But posting on social media for me has kinda be a bummer with my art.

I will say that when I think about art online, it feels really weird to me now. It doesn't seem as fun anymore, and it doesn't seem as fun to post publicly, either. Mainly on social media because I do love my website above all. I think what I miss is the actual interactions with other artists and genuine connections through art. I'd love to get back into art trades and whatnot personally or even gift art, but man....IDK its not like it used to be, and I feel I can't just draw gift art for someone I don't know, even if I like their oc or think it looks super cool 

=-=;;; welp

One website I am thinking of cutting off is infact FA (furaffinity).  I have been here for so long but... I really do not care for the site anymore. I don't think I want to be on fa anymore. It seems so unforgiving and dead; no one comments much, and folks just fave bomb like it's Twitter or something. It's not really encouraging to want to post there. I am going to think about it because, personally, I want to move on from that website fr. But it really is the only place I get commissions from atm. But even then, it's not really encouraging to post. I'm currently disabling it and taking a break from it.

I still enjoy my Tumblr and my Instagram, so who knows? Online spaces are what you make them, and so far, those 2 are okay for me for rn.

Well, other than work, my personal life rambles and art. I hope to use my journal a lot more now for updates. I have very much been neglecting it here but... yuh know life.

happy new year

★Current Mood: 💫 Busy
★Listening to: Vira - I don't care
★Watching: Party Monster
★Reading: Fanfiction

★Playing: Obscura
★Eating:  Sushi

★Drinking: Jasmine tea

I didn't get to say Happy New Year, but life has been very busy and happy. I have so much positivity going on and I'm so grateful for the ones in my life right now.

short update but hey what can I say life has been super great!

Helloooo

★Current Mood: 💭 Contemplative
★Listening to: Potochkine - Possédée
★Watching: Inu-oh
★Reading: Fanfiction

★Playing: Silent Hill 2 (Remastered)
★Eating:  Eggs over hash 

★Drinking: Tea
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So I am going to be more active here, and man, I've been neglecting my journal despite having a lot to say. I will not do that anymore. I have gotten too used to the quick and easy way to dump stuff on social media, and eeeeeeh, I miss my journal a lot.

As for my personal life, I am going into the medical field for my job work. I'm returning to classes to be a CNA and do what I must to secure a good income. My husband wants to be a CNA too so I can only imagine the power duo combination. My husband and I have been great and super happy actually. It's winter time so it's just less busy for me and him and more of just cuddle weather.

Also going to be practicing my Chinese with my husband because I just have no one to talk to to upkeep my cultural language. I at least talk to him in Patwa when I'm home so I'll never lose my other culture's tongue. But yeah going to practice my language more so if you see some journals strictly in Chinese don't worry just practicing.

So anyways on to art yammering...

 I have got to be kinder to myself when it comes to art. I realized I am not, don't give myself credit when it's due, and am my worst critique. I don't mean that in the cliche way of " ho ho ho us artists are our worst critiques". No I mean I'm my own #1 public enemy with my art. I've been pretty hard on myself despite pumping out pieces back to back and I really have got to stop that. Even the vocabulary I use is harsh that I would never use on someone else's artwork.

Either way, I'm going to be more hyper-aware of the language I use regarding my craft and be kind, like I would to a stranger but to myself.

As for my website....

I am very shy about it but I want to start introducing fiction I will be writing about the worlds/ oc that go along with my art. That used to jump-start my creative juices back in the day for months on end and boy do I miss it. This will lead to me ripping apart my world-building page and oc pages to remodel them cause, to be honest they have been sitting in the dust for some time now. I am slowly getting my site the way I want it and it is paying off

Jobs Acquired + Life update

★Current Mood: 💘 Loved
★Listening to: Korn- Here To Stay
★Watching: Gratuitous Pampering (C-drama)
★Reading: Fanfiction

★Playing: 7 days to die
★Eating:  Asad's – Hot Chicken

★Drinking:  Black tea with milk
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 Long time no see since what?? April! I know it's been a minute. However, I have been extremely busy with in real-life stuff. All good news though. I am currently enrolled in medical training and will be working for a good hospital in September. So I found myself a career. It's a job that once I'm more settled will pay for me to go back to medical school and I can be a nurse so yay.

I know I was looking for a job but instead found a career I wouldn't say it was luck because essentially that's what I have been looking for and worked towards with my resume and personal self-branding. And I am not talking about art, just me as a person in the workforce beyond art. So really, I'm proud of myself for being here. I worked hard for it.

I have classes this week and next week then finally at the beginning of Sept I will start working. It's a long wait but it's worth it personally for a career. I haven't had time for art for myself and my queue but sadly, priorities/adulting!

I also have about 3 concerts to go to by next month through September. I am so ready to rock out, Mosh, and just relax the rest of the summer. I will be getting back to art around August but tbh... from here I should know who I want to refund.

Other than that nothing much has been happening on my end.

 

No More Twitter, also no more big commissions

★Current Mood: 💭Thoughtful
★Listening to: Alone in my room- Fall away
★Watching: pool rooms break down video
★Reading: Fanfiction

★Playing: Duck game
★Eating:  scallion pancakes 

★Drinking: Foco sugar cane drink
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Ehhhhh I think I stuck out the site long enough but time to go with my art.

A few reasons for this, I can't keep up with websites like I used to, and I seem to be trimming down my sites as the months go on.

-Engagement is no good and I refuse to pay for a blue checkmark. However, engagement is pretty good on places like Instagram and Tumblr for me. Plus I use those other sites with my local art community. The engagement part isn't anyone but Elons and his algorithm for his profit's fault and tbh... I can't keep up and don't want to anymore. It's exhausting to be an artist plus do that. Also as I get older I just outgrew some sites. My twitter will still be up, but 100% locked and I won't be accepting anyone to it. Feel free to unfollow or keep it followed to keep my art as an archive.

- Gore/death videos.... now this is a huge reason I barely interact or get on twitter anymore. I'm sorry but this is just ridiculous that this is the content the for you pages push no matter how much I block them. The site personally isn't good for my mental health if that's what is gonna be popping up every time I open the app just to post funny furry dog face images. It's just not worth ruining my day at all.

Places you can find me

My website

My website has everything you need personally while my Tumblr/Instagram is where I communicate with my community.

Tumblr

Instagram

Now on to something bigger. I will be finishing my queue and no longer taking big commissions. Yes no more big rendered portraits rendered sketch pages  NADAH. Can you still get a commission from me? Sure and only from my discord. There will still be a discount dailys though, but nothing huge. I am pretty much tired and want to indulge in my work for me : D And to finally do gift art and art trades again. You know fun stuff.

Anyway I do appreciate the support for years on the twittwats and  Love yall 

see yall elsewhere.

 

A lil bit tired ( art development) + More

★Current Mood: 😓Tired
★Listening to: Purgatorial - Harvesting Nightmares

★Watching: Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

★Reading: Fanfiction

★Playing: Shinsetsu Samurai Spirits: Bushidou Retsuden
★Eating:  Homemade chicken and broccoli

★Drinking: Cola
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Well so much for my journal site rn. Bear with me......
I used to use Discord to host my graphics buuuuuuuuuuuuuuut lesson learned. Idk why I did that... it just seemed easier but tbh I will be hosting it all on this site. So none of it can end up janked tf up. This is more so annoying because I  had plans this weekend and it didn't involve fixing my journal. My bio is fixed and saved as best as it could of been. May actually add more to it. Just so annoyed about it. But now I gotta fix icons and such for each entry.... so fuck it I guess cause I don't remember each one I used. LESSON LEARNED FR.

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ARTY ARTY

Anyway I got my art into South Street Art Mart and I am so happy. I'm already making sales and I'm impressed at the fact that folks locally like my art.  Ahhh I'm pleased about this.

I will say, I have been doodling but mostly doing some self-searching with my art and I'm well ....growing that's for sure. Here are some commissions and 2 gift arts I've done while trying to get back in the groove of things. I am going through a growing pain stage with my art which is good I am advancing ..bad because it's frustrating the shit out of me...

Now there are 7 so far

 

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 PARTY HARDY

Also, I have just been busy and continue to be. Had a 3-day weekend of concerts which you can view in Party Cat pg.2/pg.3.

Partying non-stop is intense but staying in the house is a bit much for me as of late. The partying doesn't end there I went to a goth event with DJ Kulture Shock who is back in town aaaaaand Lords of Acid/Rob zombie concert in May/sept. Funny enough the one time I said I was not a fan of Mike Sega as a local DJ, he came up with bangers on the dance floor....at the after-party at the KMFDM concert. But we could not stay..we were tired and wanted to go to our respective homes.

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Personal life

So I want 2-3 jobs and it kinda sucks that the market is such ass rn. I get a ton of calls for nice paying jobs but they don't seem to realize I don't have a car and also even if I did I'm not driving for almost 2 hours just for a job, that's insane.  Oh well the hunt carries on. Other than that life has been life-ing. 

I have been a bit burnt out and depressed not with anything at all in particular just out of it. eh this happens but first in a long time talking openly about it. I think once I get a job I won't have time to focus on that so here is hoping I get one fast.

Operation 3 day concert weekend Is a Go Go!

★Current Mood:  👀 Excited

★Listening to: DRP – Electro Brain 586 (Full Album - 1990)
★Watching: Hollow Man (2000)
★Reading: Fanfiction

★Playing: Shadow Corridor
★Eating: Salmon sushi

★Drinking: Jasmine milk tea
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Slayher metal drag race 2/22/2023

Shrek Rave 2/23/2023

Dorian Electra 3/8/2023

Kim Dracula 3/92023

KMFDM 3/10/2023

Mmmmm yes Im so excited about this, a 3 day weekend with my homie Rudrakitty and it's just concerts back to back. I should be semi-healed by then honestly. Since my next appointment to get my ace wraps off is on the 20th. I'm so cabin fever that I got tickets for me and Ru to go to a metal drag race show and a Shrek rave. Im going to a Shrek rave with Rudra on the 23rd. WE ARE GETTING TO THESE MFIN CONCERTS AND EVENTS. There is another secret event, 2 more I won't talk about until after I go ^.^ So this year is exciting and overly booked. And possibly more booked as time goes on. I'm just tired of sitting in the house and while I like goth parties Im beyond selective with my DJ and who I support and enjoy.

Yesterday I got my hair straightened cause eh...I just don't have the time to comb my hair while healing from surgery every day. So straightening it is the only way rn. Im trying to enjoy my hair straightened even tho I feel odd with it, but I have to admit to myself that I do not have the energy to do hair care 24/7 and that's what hair stylists are for and why we pay them. It took forever to get my hair appointment by the same stylist I went to originally. She is appointment only and it's like maaaan.... I have to book her a week in advance I was lucky she had something before this art jam I hosted yesterday.

I am also going to start the 100-day sketch challenge..unsure if that thing actually helps with art but I'm going to try honestly. I don't think it should be timed like everyone is doing but I do want to attempt it to get better at art and also to mentally kick myself to draw more. With more pieces, I can enjoy. this will also help me finish a sketchbook project I'm attempting this year. I have only finished one semi-digital sketchbook but not a physical one. So that's something to look forward to. 

ART JAM PHOTOS ( PD:2/14/2024)

All I was able to do was a scribble cause I got tipsy and full on food weh
 just pen and highlighter woooo

On a positive note, I got into South Street Art Mart and I am now one of their artists. I am excited to finally be in a brick-and-mortar store selling my work. Still actually waiting on them to put my section of the site up with my work so folks can buy from me... it takes some time.