Gurl STFU and blow tf up

★Current Mood: 😡 irritated
★Listening to: 999999999 - X0003000X
★Watching: The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia
★Reading: Fanfiction

★Playing: High on life
★Eating: Texas-style cheeseburger with red ginger

★Drinking: Coke
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So it's just been on my mind for some bit since my last 2 cons but I'm really starting to wonder if people don't have etiquette or if they are just outright stupid with no home training. Now considering queers let alone alternatives will have intense art. I'm not sure if it really bothers me much when people say "oh your art is scary" but more so is that all you have to say when you look at my art? You don't see the years of skill? Experience? Originality that goes into it or? It's funny some folks will say this yet still buy my work and I'm just in awe at how weird they are to me.

I think one particular comment that got me was these 2 women who came to my table and her friend was eyeing my work up and down while the main one was saying "Oh this is so scary" like 3 times. I had enough and said bluntly "Well yeah considering my art name is Tainted. Sweet. Meats it is kind of my personal M.O". She was like "Oh I can see that" with a weird cali white girl attitude and I'm like " well glad you have eyes to see and note that so vocally" Now I'm usually not an outright bitch but I kinda had my limit. She walked away but her friend seemed enamored with my art and bought a few prints and stickers and was really interested in where to find me on social media. Completely ignoring her friend. BOY do I love it when someone has their own mind enough not to make their friends push them away from things they want. So that was a nice experience at the punk rock flea market.

What gets me is I've heard this from folks online as well who tend to not have enough social skills to just think that's something you say to someone. An think it's a compliment. I'm not saying my work is not intense. No shit, I'm an intense person, I have had intense experiences, and a life that is 100% in my work, ocs, and over all creativity. If my work seems aggressive, well better it on paper than a knock in someone's neck for pisssing me off or being idiotic to me. It's therapy for me. It's logical and safe considering my anger issues. And hey it creates some great stuff. I guess it just got to me to make such a snide snooty comment back to scare a bitch off.

My thing is... if art cant invoke an emotion is it even fucking art or are you just drawing? Art is meant to cause an emotional stir. If it makes you happy, sad, scared, or whatever... it did something to you to stop, stare, and feel. Ugh just had to talk about this cause while it's not 100% getting to me I am starting to feel as time goes on people are getting stupider by the minute.  I'm not a bitchy pissy person but I am sarcastic and definitely not someone who tolerates underhanded remarks trying to be rude but cute at the same time. IMMA EMBARRASS YOU.

Man I'm Tired, but what a good fucking year

★Current Mood💨 Tired

★Listening to: Zeromancer - Flirt With Me
★Watching: An American Tail
★Reading: Fanfiction

★Playing: Nothing
★Eating:  Chinese fried chicken with shoelace fries

★Drinking: Jasmine milk tea
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Tis the holidays and I am beyond tired. all my cons I was vending at this year is over and I am ready to PARRRRRRRRRRTY. 

As much as I love vending at cons, I can not leave that party bitch behind and so happy I got a cybergoth/industrial event this Saturday. Kinda sick of being in the house and working rn. I WANT TO MOTHA FUCKIN PARTY AND GET CRUUUUUUUUNK!

Went to Ulana's goth/industrial event this Saturday and maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan I had a fucking blast. It's no secret at the start opf covid I was still in NYC and my party days were put on hold with the goth events back with the nightlife Gotham city halo. While parties were still being hosted I just refused to go since at the time there was no vaccine and Mfers were just not masking. So I haven't been to one in 3 or so years. Now that I'm super vaxxed and still mask I head to events again and man I need this. I got drunk, and danced with so many other goths and it was just good feels.

It pains the hell out of me that I missed a very obvious social cue with the bartender though. There was a  tall woman in leather with a huge 70's afro who well ....kept flirting with me. Now at first I thought she was being nice cause I tip with every drink I buy and I bought about 7 including a shot of Jack. she had casually brought up how she is a dominatrix and works for the owner and is great friends with her at the establishment and she wants to host a BDSM goth night to bring her subs. She also while flirting said you should come too you look very beautiful and would love for me to attend. Now my stupid ass only thought oh she is being nice but she was doing more than being nice...aaaah well next time since she works there weh weh.

Also vid from the party

The next event is tomorrow at the Christmas Village and I am excited weeeeee and trying to see if I can make another goth event to dance the year away before the new year hits. Not much art sharing cause Imma be real living life after getting married and ion got time for online if I don't finish work to post... I'm partying it up thank fuck.

Also, not much going on I have been arting, trying to not forget drawing skills or what I learn. But being a selfish biotch and keeping it to myself until I am ready to post really or finish things until I see fit..so yeah I am being a bit anal with my work.... but here is some stuff I'm working on

Any ways doing some personal small work for myself and the hubs, got some ways to go before this is postable.

and this image was from 2016 that I decided to finally put some color on also not done at all but sneak peaks sneak peaks

Cya for now time to get my party on wooohoooo

Queer life Drawing at Tattooed Moms

★Current Mood: 💭 Thoughtful
★Listening to: Cobra (Rock Remix) [feat. Spiritbox]
★Watching: The Exorcist: Believer
★Reading: Fanfiction

★Playing: Dead by daylight
★Eating:  Salmon sushi rolls

★Drinking: Jasmine brewed boba milk tea
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Finally, some bestie time with Rudrakitty, went to queer life drawing at tattooed moms this past Sunday to chill out before yet again another busy week. With the lovely model as an art study, bighaircamellights. They were an amazing study. Next time I am definitely bringing other mediums beyond pencil and ebony graphite.

 

 

 

Also, this event raised money for children in Palestine as well **happy wiggles**
THEPCRF- 

A nonprofit humanitarian organization providing medical relief to children in the Middle East. Donate to our urgent Gaza relief efforts 

A he hee haha from rudrakitty's sketchbook at the bar
It's us. I was making them crack up so much buuuuuut we was also drunk so maybe that made me a comedian in less than 10 mins

Kitty goes meow, biotch!

★Current Mood: 😭 Busy
★Listening to:  Akira Yamaoka- Tender sugar
★Watching: Perfume: The story of a murderer
★Reading: Fanfiction

★Playing: High on Life
★Eating:  Boom boom pizza

★Drinking: Day's pineapple cola
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Guess who got their own table at Trans Art Mart and punk rock flee market? I did weeeeeeeee!

Just wanted to update yalls on that at least. I did talk about trying out for Trans art mart in my last journal post but not punk rock flea market. But yep I got into 2 cons to be a vendor in dec. I basically have a month to prep for 2 cons. Unsure if I'm going to make some originals to sell but basically yessir will be selling my leftover stock from Furryadelphia since I over-ordered stuff. 

Trying not to get some odd excited anxiety over this cause I am the type to not do jack shit artistically knowing these events are coming up. So I'm not trying to get too jittery over it even though I'm mad excited about actually being accepted to more cons. For cons, I'll be attending just head over to my website and you'll see my conventions bar here   ( also I have an updated site after years *cough* since high school..15+ years*cough*)

Also got put on the wait list for West Craft Fest and goth shop and social which is A-okay... I think I'm overbooked for December honestly. So I'm actually a lil nervous if a spot opens up for them cause jeeeeeeezus. The fact I even got accepted for the waitlist is incredible when I say that these cons are huge here and hard to get into I mean it. I'm feeling so inspired. Anyway, I have a ton that will queue up on my social media to be posted in time after cons so y'all don't feel I have abandoned yalls. I haven't. Just a tad spread thin and busy working on things. Also If I get accepted to South street art mart you have an actual storefront that supports queer folks where I also get a cut of it while the other cut goes to to queer support locally and more. I rather my work be pushed toward that. So Cross fingers guys I get in. That will be such a positive experience and I'll be sure to post that store link once that's available.

BARK BARK! Guess whos back and still active! Just Busy~

★Current Mood: 💘 Loved
★Listening to: Korn- Counting on Me
★Watching: Frankenhooker
★Reading: Fanfiction

★Playing: High on life
★Eating: Sweet sticky rice with sweet chili beef slices & mango

★Drinking: Foco sugar cane drink
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Long time no update and boy do I have a ton to talk about. I haven't updated since April but honestly, I've just been insanely busy with my IRL that I truly don't have time for online life at times...it happens with me. Also, I think it's back to being balanced like it used to be before covid started personally. I never ever was the online type anyway beyond posting my art so personally I like the distance. If it's not art related in terms of creativity and posting I don't give a fuck about it. 

 

Conventions: Furrydelphia 2023

I should have written about this right after my con but I was too busy living in the moment honestly. This was my first furry con ever. I truly could not bring myself to go to any other through my decades in the fandom due to goingto a ton of goth parties in my early to mid 20's, but honestly glad I finally went. It was my first time tabling at a furry con with big help from my apprentice Rudra Kitty. Got to take tons of pictures,  I made the first sale in Artist Alley and my personal sales were waaaay waaay more than what I expected. Talk about a great time overall. The staff was beyond sweet. And I mean all around professional I have ever experienced at a function. They were forever checking on me at my table if I was okay, thirsty, or hungry. I mean there wasn't anything I didn't want that the con staff could not supply. They were above and beyond.

I will say this was my first con and I did not know what was going on in terms of con table ticket vs con badge. So the whole time I was making sales and such up until the last hour without a con badge. I alerted the staff however because it just seemed odd everyone had a badge and I didn't. Once again con staff was helpful and got me signed in, I paid for my badge and continued my sales for the last 40 mins. Didn't wanna walk away making insane sales but not paying but that was easily rectified with the help of staff and letting them know it was my first time and their understanding since they were rushing us to nab a table to set up. So either way it was just due to time constrictions why that happened. Easy fix tho ^.^;

After con, me and Rudra Kitty were supposed to go to hot pot buuuuuuut we were so exhausted that we truly passed out at my place and saved the treat outing till the next day instead. We were tired af maaang. But overall great experience for my first furry con and now it will be the only local furry con I will be going to : D yippeeee

Future conventions:  Philly TransArtMart 2023

I will try to attend this con market if I'm picked for a table. So..FINGERS CROSSED.. I can get into this one since I did sign up early application-wise. if not I can always try again next year to snag a spot. It's a pretty big con to the point they had to change locations from the first one I attended so here's hoping. If I do get picked.

IRL Updates

Oh he heee

★Current Mood: 😽 Cheerful
★Listening to: Miss Kittin - Frank Sinatra
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Oh how lovely life has been!

Just work update 

But man I can say how grateful I am for this job to fall into my hands right now. It is legit a career And in the music industry no less. Gosh I love my job. It pays amazing, I get so many paid holidays and winter break also paid. It's really easy too.

I will say this will give me so much time to focus on me, and my art, while also doing a job that gets me paid. This doesn't get in the way of commissions at all either.

I will say socially though I might fall off which is fine because honestly, my work needs my focus.

I will say I have 2 trainers and I'll just call them Trainer A and Trainber B
Trainer A is wonderful and I mostly get my training from her. But Trainer B idk..I don't think she knows how to train only actually to do her job. I only ever have her for the last 2 hours of the day but ....she actually frustrates me and confuses me a ton. I dread having her but Im learning a ton from Trainer A and hope to be off training soon just so I no longer have to talk to Trainer B unless necessary.

On a completely unrelated happy note, just so much positivity is happening and honestly, I've come to terms I just can not understand nor want to understand how the furry fandom has become. But what do you know I was invited to a 90's-early 2000's furs discord that's set up like a forum and I refound so many of my old fur friends from like 15+ years ago. That I thought completely left the fandom or just poofed. The amount of joy I got out of that is unreal and posting art there is like old furry forum days. I LOVE IT TO DEATH. 

But just a tiny update before I fuck up this pizza I ordered I'm starving!

Also, enjoy a sneak peek of my new oc Im working on. He is deff a 2005-2010 cyber goth fur but Im so glad to be making personal art again. mmmm muh lil rabbit tiger man mmmm so sexi

Ceeeyuh

JOB GET! update and art!

★Current Mood: 💘Loved
★Listening to: Emilie Autumn- Misery Loves Company
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Went on a date a few days ago with my partner and gosh it was amazing. For once I don't have anxiety in a relationship and I'm so happy. It's just so casual and nice since I'm dating a friend. Anyways went for korean bbq, the hello kitty store, and got a ton of treats from my babs, and then our fave bubble tea store. We are even making a scrapbook together filled with sketches of our time out and cute stuff saved from our outings. I love the bonding already. It's also nice for someone to understand I'm ambi/poly. the communication is so open and freeing.

Now onto the nitty gritty

Also got a job haha with a huge company, won't say who for the nosey folks plus under contract not to say who so... womp womp but wow wow I'm shocked because I'm pretty sure I felt I tanked that interview but you know what maybe not. I've been feeling pretty insecure as of late job hunting wondering if people can detect my ADHD or autism and starting to get into my head if this was the reason why. But it wasn't, it's just the job market is a complete ass. Cause now, even more, jobs are coming in for me. NTM I may also have a separate weekend job if I'm lucky with a luxury store. I really click with the manager because get this, we were both raised and born in the Bronx majority of our lives. So we just get it. So positivity and happy times rn. Most of my anxiety is just not there anymore. Now to get my sleeping and art on track.

While my sleeping will be on track, my art has to be scheduled and timed. I still teach art classes which are flexible but now student intake is very limited and atm my classes are perma closed with what students I have until further notice. I just can not handle an over amount at this time plus I have an apprentice so hey busy busy. Not to mention a queue. I feel If I don't finish a good chunk of it by the end of the year. I'm refunding folks. Not that I don't want to work on the art but with all this work... and a super big project for a friend's storefront that has to get done for him. Yeeeeaaah it's possibly best so I don't legit overdue it with the workload. Since my irl jobs come first. Gotta pay that rent to even keep drawing both comms and personal art yalls woooosh.

One thing I do know will tank..is possibly my social life : ( I possibly can hang out with friends irl and online for a limited time at night and not like I used to which sucks but I can always check up on them with text. it sucks but hey...the life of an artist...this is kind of our M.O at this point as creatives managing everything beyond our art. I'm pretty sure my buds will understand.

And here are some Wips of art.

Some art is already finished but the rest I deff need to get done

Anyways yalls I am exhausted and just wanted to do a well overdue update here to keep you guys in the loop with my life.  :3c

^.^ hee heeeeeeee weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee +life

★Current Mood: 💅Accomplished
★Listening to: Linkin Park - Nobody's Listening
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Long time no update but I'm alive and very much busy.

My art is on stand by and so are my classes for teaching. If I don't got rent to pay like I can't be doing art cause clearly I'll lose my apartment so um the focus is my job hunt rn. 

Have been job hunting and got one job that has been crazy promising and if I get it I'll be making more than I did working for apple. YIPPIE! I won't put all my eggs in one basket most of these job interviews have been super flighty and ghosting too much despite feeling eager for a candidate.

I haven't made an update since November because life hasn't been bad but life is just not focused on art too much. I have a roommate that came in December but has moved out to greener pastures aka their own space. So I'll be living alone again, the good news is they will live close, so besties time during off times and Kbbq time. HECK YEAH.

I am living alone again so I am going to have to do a deep clean of my apartment because 2 people living in a studio just was not the vibe LOL Though fun, but the room is needed because it gets messy way too fast. It's okay its been fun though.

Now for the rest of the year, I'll be busy with work and hopefully going to conventions which I'm excited about.

AN ALSO 

I will be transitioning fully starting this year because my insurance covers it all with only a $3 co-pay while my surgery is 100% free.  It's kind of crazy really. I'm just happy personally.

Now for bigger plans, I work for a music group in the fandom with graphics and I already got two pieces of art out of three and I can't wait to be able to post it but I have to wait until Their music drops, cant show anything yet though. 

 ahhhhhh. I've been running myself ragged just to make sure everything is nice too weh  


Other than that I have been spending time with friends, gaming, and overall just enjoying life really.

Some personal art wips for yalls anyways later, I hope to update more despite how busy I am